Grief Guides
Three months after the training, I traveled to my hometown in southern California. Officially, I was there with my parents and sister for my grandmother’s 88th birthday. Unofficially, I was there to ask her how she wanted to die. I’d looked into death doulas in the area because I was curious, but I had a feeling my grandmother wouldn’t want to hire one, mostly for financial reasons. If she had a definite death plan in mind, she’d never told us. Sometimes she’d say she wants to be buried in the plot next to her parents in Texas; other times she’d say she wants to be cremated, because cremation is cheaper. My family wanted to figure out her wishes, but we rarely discuss things like this together, and broaching the subject had so far felt overwhelming. I offered to try.
