Getting lost in a crowd is not an unusual occurrence for me. I’ve always been a daydreamer and tend toward introspection, even when I should be paying attention to my surrounds. As my grandfather liked to say, I don’t have a ton of situational awareness.
Losing an entire person in a room full of other naked people, however, was a new one for me.
My second husband and I had been dating for a few months when we made our first trip to the most local to us swinger’s club. We were still dipping our toes into the pool, so I wanted to start with a smaller club.
This wasn’t our first foray into the swinging world. We’d attended one house party together and had met a few couples. But it was our first trip to a club.
Nervous about attending a party and not knowing anyone ahead of time, I posted on the swinging website, Adult Friend Finder, letting others in our area know we would be attending the party Saturday night.
I thought it would be helpful to see a friendly face or two.
Turns out, the club was further away than our friends wanted to travel, so we were on our own.
The club was located in a residential neighborhood in a home they’d converted. There was a backyard, with 10-foot privacy fencing, just in case folks wanted to take the party outside. Club rules required you to be dressed appropriately when outside the front of the house, as they didn’t want the neighbors complaining and having them shut down.
I was surprised by the location, being honest. Hiding in plain sight works well. Once inside, it was obvious the place was once a single-family home, but they’d closed in the large garage area for tables/chairs; providing a place for neutral meeting and greeting.
Three bedrooms were outfitted with two queen beds pushed together, each, and one had a sex swing in the corner as well.
You know, exactly how I’d like my bedroom at home if I didn’t have children!
As with any swinger’s event, there are rules. Most are common sense related. No touching without consent. Be sure to ask about each couple’s rules before playing. No photography without consent of all parties. Condoms are on the table. Lube is available.
Just bring your open mind and the fun makes itself.
We met a few couples we were interested in playing with throughout the night, during the meet and greet portion of the evening. The problem I was having, was making a choice.
My husband chuckled at my dilemma. Feast or famine, right?
Since the bedrooms had orgy sized beds, we all decided to head to a room and play together. Anyone who was comfortable was welcome to play with whomever they chose. None of the men were bi-sexual, all the women were.
I’d never been in bed, naked, with more than three other people. But as I began removing my clothing, with the help of a gorgeous lady, I realized there were currently eight people in the room.
For a moment, I wasn’t sure if I was turned on or off. It worked out, I was turned on, I just had to get out of my own head to realize it.
Typically when we met other couples, my husband and I would begin playing together. The devil you know. This time, I was already engaged with a beautiful woman and had no plans to stop that any time soon.
We made our way to the upper corner of the bed, closest to the wall. Lost in our own little world, I couldn’t begin to tell you how long we stayed there getting to know one another’s bodies. I remember catching glimpses of my husband’s head here and there. He was pretty easy to find, being a ginger.
My friend Ana’s husband, Don, made his way across the bed to our spot and they began having sex. I joined in where I could, enjoying giving attention to someone new. Another woman was caressing one of my breasts. A gentleman was holding my hair back.
I ended up the center of attention for a while and honestly couldn’t tell you how many people were touching me at once. It was a feeling unlike any other, though somewhat overwhelming at the same time.
Looking up, I searched for my husband, and couldn’t find him within the sea of bodies.
I’ll admit, I panicked.
I tried not to show how freaked out I was, once I realized I had no idea where my husband was. Not sure if he’d left the room or was just buried, I needed to sit up and get people off me, right now.
Once I sat up and extracted myself from the myriad people surrounding me, something else happened. I realized there were more people in the room than we began with.
By my count, there were more than 10 people in the room, when we started with eight.
That was it for me. Thought the night had been fantastic and eye-opening, my comfort level had been breached past the point of no return. No one did anything wrong, I had just found my limit.
Once I got across the bed and found my way to the door, I also found my husband. Head buried between a woman’s legs, he was hidden from view until I was almost out of the room.
I politely tapped his shoulder and told him I was finished for now and headed to the showers. He was welcome to stay.
Our first orgy was a success, despite what it sounds like. I learned a lot about myself and how I needed things to work in the future. Being able to touch or at least lay eyes on my partner is important to me in a group setting. I believe the addition of extra people wouldn’t have been an issue, had I been able to keep an eye on my anchor.
Over the years, I figured out my husband wasn’t willing or able to be a good anchor. His selfish machinations were top priority for him, not my comfort level.
Group sex can be amazing when everything works out. But you have to be honest with yourself and your partner about what you are and are not willing to do. Taking inventory isn’t always easy, and sometimes, you have to be in the situation before you realize what you’re not okay with.
That’s where a good partner comes in. Trust between core partners and the people you’re engaging with is key. If you have that, you have everything.
Demeter deLune is a writer forged in the fires of desire. If you love reading her naughty tales of love and lust, sign up for her email list.