medium.com /heart-affairs/wait-can-we-talk-about-masturbation-during-intercourse-bb6dd02b3ba3

Wait, Can We Talk About Masturbation During Intercourse?

Em 7-9 minutes 11/14/2021

There might be something we all missed out on.

Em

Photo by Brenner Oliveira from Pexels

Watching the first season of Euphoria reminded me about the painful and selfish sex nobody should have. I am a great advocate for fucking. Don’t get me wrong on this. But the lack of emotion the male characters show is just disgusting. Desperation has always been a great motivation for me. The desperation I felt after every sex scene allowed me to conquer my ego and rethink sex.

I am glad that we moved past the time without endless information online. Still, most of it doesn’t make it to the bedroom.

Sexually active adults reveal that less than 50% are “fully satisfied by their partner in bed.” A vast majority claim that their partner doesn’t fully know how to meet their sexual needs.

It gets worse: women fake an average of 39 orgasms a year. You can don’t have to start doing the math. If the average American has once-a-week sex, we all know what these numbers say about us.

They’re scary. The pictures drawn in Euphoria depict the truth most of us are too insecure to handle. Sex without satisfaction. Sex that hurts. And most definitely, sex creates bad memories and feeds a huge portion of our insecurities.

While the majority of men are insecure about their penis size, most women dislike their boobs. While some of us blame it on media, others blame it on our inability to accept ourselves for what we are. Nevertheless, we a very good at keeping the minimizing self-beliefs up.

Struggling with our body image isn’t linked to our age, color, sexual orientation, or gender. We all do because we are all incomplete, and in our worst moments, we only see ourselves for what we are not.

It became a shameful reality. Social Media is just feeding on the insecurities that hold us hostage if we couldn’t share them with others.

Yet, sex has become a weird game. The more we share, the less we know. Instead of sharing our knowledge, we keep it to ourselves. We are still disgusted by our pleasure.

Sure, we know all buy sex toys and share them online. But are they that open about when we hide them in the last corner of our underwear draft? I don’t think so. Here we are still considering masturbation during sex weird. I added masturbation during intercourse to the list of 6 Cringey Habits That Make You Orgasm During Sex. I remember Joe Duncan asked me why I included masturbation in the list of cringy habits. The answer is simple because most girls I know consider it cringe to masturbate during sex. They preferably pleasure themselves in the dark after the act than during intercourse.

Well, because the majority of women I know would rather rub one off after than during sex. It’s profane, nevertheless, important to talk about a trick that allows us to grow closer during sex. Here are a few ideas to introduce yourself and your partner to masturbation during sex. I like to focus on the “how-to” side of things. Here is my brief collection of ideas.

Encourage your partner to touch himself or herself

It’s been a while since I watched a documentary about indie porn. Off scene, one of the actors was asked which “porn-hacks” added flavor to his sex life. He said, touching himself while foreplay and also during the act to keep the blood flowing.

It’s one thing to do for a porn actor who might be more open, but for regular people? By then, I scratched my head. It was one of the things we would be too embarrassed to do, or wouldn’t we?

When he answered, an actress walked by and said: “I do it all the time.” The door swings both ways. I think it might be a more valuable tip for women. Most of us can reach an orgasm when we masturbate. It’s easy. We are used to the touch and the results it causes.

For men, it allows them to get hard and stay hard. The porn actor told the interviewers that he masturbates when he goes down on his partner in between penetration, or when he focuses on her to keep his erection hard.

Bust most importantly, it shows our partner how we want to be touched.

Encourage your partner to show you how he or she wants to be touched

There are fast tracks and slow lanes to orgasm. While some women like circular movements, others get off better when you apply pressure on their clit or rub it between your fingers. The same applies to men. Some include their balls while they masturbate, and others don’t.

There are many routes to pleasure. By asking your partner what they prefer, you eliminate what they don’t like. Showing is always better than telling. You will find it difficult to tell them what they like, but if you lay down, spread your legs and show them — they will hit the right spots.

Some of us might have an awkward routine when it comes to masturbation, but none of us looks like a movie star when we do it. It’s good to be different.

Encourage your partner to rub himself or herself against you

Well, there is a lot of porn that encourages it. But simply the fact of exploring each other’s body by physical touch makes the experience worthwhile. It’s common for girls to masturbate pillow humping. For many girls, it’s the first introduction to their sexual awakening.

What was common in your teenage years can be entertaining in your adult years, too. Rubbing yourself against his pubic bone while he penetrates you is a true joy. But you could also include it into your foreplay routine. Sitting on him naked or just with underwear rubbing yourself against him might lead to the kind of spark he needs to rip off your clothing.

The same applies to the guys. Some enjoy a good rub to say “Hi”.

Masturbation during penetration

Some women might find penetration uncomfortable, while others don’t feel enough. Not being able to reach an orgasm from penetration only makes you pretty average. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. But what you should be ashamed of is your inactivity when it comes to your pleasure and the pursuit of it.

Masturbating while he fucks you is the advice I would give my younger self. Rubbing your clit while he slowly grinds into you or thrusts hard will take off a lot of the pressure and allow you to be calm, relaxed, and aroused.

Besides using your hands, you could also turn to the last idea and rub yourself against him. Pubic bones are great to get special attention on your clit while you ride him.

Masturbation after orgasms/during breaks

Do you consider this insulting? Well, it can be hot at times. Reverse the feeling you have and encourage your partner to go on after you finished. Especially for the guys, it can be a wake-up call.

Most people get aroused by watching. So why not be the person who initiates round two with heavy body movements and spread legs?

What is a major turn-on for guys applies for girls too. We love to watch, especially if we are the reason for your lust.

The benefits of mutual masturbation

The list is long, but here are just a few ideas why you need to try it out.

And the list goes on. For many of us, masturbation is a habit to get out of our minds. Stressful days seem less stressful, and the overall tension decreases after we climaxed. It’s a solid way out of ourselves. Experiencing this relief with a partner can be both challenging and rewarding.