Forget chastity belts…men suffered too
Much like today, the Victorians didn’t like to be wasteful. Only the profligate son of a deranged demon would dare waste the life-giving force of semen on…masturbation.
Nineteenth-century folks believed a man’s ejaculation contained “vital energies,” which should only be saved for the misses. (Who presumably had nothing better to do than sit around and wait for her daily deposit.)
The problem was that most men feared they would run out of their baby batter. Before semen analysis, doctors couldn’t accurately measure sperm count, so they didn’t know the average male produces approximately 150 million swimmers a day. (That’s a few thousand sperm every second.)
Consequently, nineteenth-century doctors believed if a man wasted his jizz, he could get the terrifying sperm drought known as spermatorrhoea or “seminal weakness.”
The stigma around masturbation was not a Victorian invention. The Jewish Talmud castigated masturbation as “a sin more serious than all the sins of the Torah.” Orthodox Jews taught their sons never to touch their penises when urinating. “Better a bad aim than a bad habit” was the repeated wisdom. (As the mother of an eleven-year-old boy, I disagree with this advice.)
In 1835, Professor Claude-François Lallemand wrote that spermatorrhoea “degrades man, poisons the happiness of his best days, and ravages society.” Some doctors even claimed self-love caused insanity.
Fortunately, there was hope for our ravaged society. Spermatorrhoea could be cured by one of the three C’s — circumcision, castration, or chastity.
You can guess which option most men chose.
But while chastity might have hurt less, it certainly wasn’t easy. Thus, the medical community stepped in with a few solutions — anti-masturbation devices.
Now, get yourself in a comfy position, gentlemen. This article might cause some leg crossing…
Jugum Penis
The Jugum Penis, or “pollutions ring,” was the first attempt to prevent “night-time emissions.” The steel locking device was fitted over the base of the penis with a screw or clip catch. Once the wearer had an erection, the serrated teeth would cause enough pain to make you wish you were a castrato.
Toothed urethral ring
In 1881, Dr. John Laws Milton had an even more terrifying solution for boys who couldn’t stop touching themselves — the toothed urethral ring. Similar to the Jugum, the device was fitted over the flaccid penis. Once the young chap had any impure thoughts…four spikey prongs put the breaks on his erection.
But I love the addition of the bow—nice feminine touch.
The Stephenson spermatic truss
Some Victorian doctors believed that sharp pointy things were clearly barbaric. But they still needed a convenient way to tie a man’s penis to his scrotum. Enter Stephenson and his spermatic truss.
In 1876, the first spermatic trusses consisted of a belt with a metal cage to allow the penis to move freely until an erection occurred. This was far more comfortable than the urethral ring and even had tiny air holes for circulation. How compassionate.
Anti-masturbation bell ringer
By 1899, George Dudley had an even more creative solution to prevent young boys from masturbating. He invented a device that attached a bell to the offending penis and alarmed the entire household when it was time to reach for the water hose. When metal doesn’t work…shame will.
Poisons, blistering agents, leeches, and sedatives
When cages and bells failed to curb such lascivious vices, Victorian doctors turned to their medicine cabinet. Sedatives to prevent masturbation included chloral hydrate, potassium bromide, and the Victorian panacea — opium. (Milton recommended mixing it with arsenic.)
Some doctors advised applying blistering agents such as Spanish Fly. These caused further pain once the male member was rubbed.
New York surgeon Homer Bostwick recommended applying leeches to the inner thighs to suck out the horniness.
Cornflakes, electrodes, and enemas
No other doctor influenced the anti-masturbation movement more than Dr. John Harvey Kellogg (1852–1943), co-founder of Kellogg’s cornflakes. Unlike the Victorians, Kellogg didn’t just believe “self-pollution” was bad. He believed ALL sex was bad. His solution was to eat a bland diet followed by daily yogurt enemas. (Cornflakes were originally hard biscuits without sugar.)
Kellogg invented a lot of weird devices to curb masturbation. But his scariest was an electrode inserted into the urethra or rectum, which delivered small electrical shocks in fifteen-minute intervals.
Ironically, nineteenth-century doctors tried so hard to prevent masturbation when the research today shows several benefits.
To start, men who masturbate have an evolutionary advantage. Sperm that sit around too long get missing and shriveled heads. When a man ejaculates, he creates a fresh batch, and the rejects are unloaded. Second and most importantly, masturbation prevents prostate cancer.
So keep at it, guys. But do save some for the misses.
