The Important Threesome Lingo You Didn’t Know You Needed

The position of the letters denotes the positions of the people.

I follow one of the best accounts on Twitter, Confess to Aubry. If you’re not aware of it, please do yourself a favor and go follow it now. I’ll wait. Throughout the week, Aubry Andrews collects anonymous confessions, curates the top 30, and publishes them throughout the day. Anyone can “vote” on the confessions, by hearting (1 point) and/or retweeting (2 points). The final four are then placed in a poll for a run-off. There have been some doozies, and the cool thing is, once the votes come in from the poll and the top confession is announced, Aubry gives the confession to a writer to expand into a story. Some of them are wholesome, while others are quite naughty.

This week, there was a confession from a man who unknowingly got himself into a bit of a pickle. He responded to an ad for a threesome, MMF (male, male, female) thinking it would be himself and the other man, giving all the attention to the female.

Luckily, it all worked out and the confessor enjoyed himself. So, why would this be a potential issue? Because the arrangement of letters in threesome lingo denotes what’s expected to go on. The kind of arrangement this man was looking for would be MFM. See how that works? The letters show the main purpose behind the gathering and who is expected to be involved with who.

I was mildly surprised to see throughout the comments how many people were also unaware of this, but not as surprised as you may think. Even I, a sex educator and kinkster, have made the ‘mistake’ of using the wrong sequence of letters thinking it didn’t matter. It does.

Communication and being on the same page are important when it comes to any relationship, but especially one involving more than two people. While your mileage may vary, these are the most recognized terms I’ve come across when discussing a threesome and can help you navigate your way through ads and conversations. Of course, you’re always welcome to just ask the people you’re speaking to, to clarify anything you’re unsure of before jumping in.

Threesome Terms You Need to Know

1. Unicorn — Typically used to refer to a bisexual woman (though it’s less gendered now, thankfully) who is interested in playing with a male/female couple. In a perfect world for unicorn hunters, she will arrive, have fun with you both, then go away without affecting your primary relationship. Unicorn hunters get a bad rap in the online dating world because their ads are often worded in such a way that doesn’t allow for the unicorn to have feelings and emotions. They just want a body, essentially. While this isn’t the way all couples feel, it’s happened enough that it’s left a bad taste for some.
2. MMF, FMF, MFM — M and F refer to the sex of the person, and the configuration denotes the contact expected between people involved. For example, MMF denotes the men will have contact with one another as well as with the female, while MFM is typically used to mean the men only have contact with the female.
3. Devil’s Threesome — Remember throwing up ‘horns’? Think of how that looks, reimagine the fingers as body parts, and go from there. It’s a slang term for a MFM threesome.
4. Double Penetration (DP) — Most commonly refers to a woman being penetrated by two penises at once, usually vaginally and anally. If it’s orally and vaginally, it’s called spit roasting. While this is a common fantasy, it’s one that takes some practice and patience. Getting two penises erect at the same time, coupled with logistics, can make for trouble. But it’s fun getting there! Note, a ‘penis’ can also mean a strap-on for this scenario.
5. Heteroflexible — You’ll likely see bisexual used more often when searching for a threesome, but heteroflexible pops up every now and then. It’s used to mean, while in their primary relationship they don’t typically consider sex acts between two people of the same sex, they’re comfortable with the right person to explore same sex interaction.
6. Triad — This term is used to mean a relationship between three people, of any gender. The understanding is, the three are sexually and/or romantically involved with one another. If someone places an ad saying they’re looking for a third for a triad, they aren’t looking for a one-time experience.
7. Bull/Cuckold/Cuckqueen/quean (spelling varies) — Traditionally, a cuckold is a man whose wife has stepped out on him, however, within the sex community, it’s come to refer to the fetish where the husband is a willing participant in the affair. Typically, the husband will be present in the room to watch his wife with another man, with humiliation being a part of the scene at times. The gender swapped version of this is cuckqueen. A bull is the person performing with the ‘cheating’ spouse. This is a situation that requires a lot of conversation up front, as there are many facets to these scenarios.

What terms have you seen in reference to threesomes? Are any of these a surprise to you? If I missed anything you consider important, please let me know in the comments. The more we learn, the better we’re prepared.