The African tribe where women marry women
Known for their beautiful and elegant culture, the Kalabari tribe of Nigeria practice a rather intriguing traditional marriage ceremony that is quite different from the norms in that part of the world.
Kalabari Tribe of Nigeria
Located in the southwestern regions of Rivers State Nigeria, The Kalabari Kingdom is bounded to the south by the Atlantic Ocean. The people are predominantly fish farmers and quite a good number of them are educated and civilized but still, certain ancient traditions are in existence amongst this riverine people of Nigeria.
A good example of such ancient tradition is the Iya Traditional Marriage ceremony
The Iya Marriage Custom
The Kalabari tribe measure wealth and affluence based on the size of one’s household and for this reason, the people aspire to have large families. To achieve this societal status, some women in smaller families go to outside tribes to marry wives for themselves. This is where the Iya traditional marriage is performed.
The women who marry these other tribes women are referred to as Inyanabo Erebo and they are usually older women who are considered to have some financial leverage.
The Iyanabo Erebo (The owner of the Bride), could be married, separated, divorced, or widowed. So to increase the size of her family, she would marry a woman from a different tribe, and brings her into her home as her new bride. The new bride, who is referred to as Iya Erebo (the Purchased Bride) takes the woman’s last name and becomes part of the family. The woman who pays her bride price automatically owns her for life.
As the wife of the woman, the new bride is to give birth to children for the woman and all the children born to her, are to answer the same last name of her owner.
So no, this isn’t necessarily a gay marriage as there isn’t a sexual relationship between the women instead, the Iya Erebo becomes the baby-making human for the family she was married into by having sexual intercourse with all or most of the men in the family — both married and unmarried or even men from outside the family. This is so she could get pregnant and procreate for her owner.
The bride is required to always live in the house of her owner and is prohibited to relocate to some other community or move in with any other person unless her owner permits it, which is rare as the bride is supposed to be within reach of her owner.
The term Iya isn’t only for this form of marriage but also the general term for the traditional marriage of the Kalabari and Okrika tribes of Rivers State, Nigeria. The Iya is said to be the highest form of their traditional marriage and usually involves a huge showcase of their elegant culture and wealth but the difference between the Iya marriage between a man and a woman and the one involving a woman and a woman is that the latter — which is the focus of this article, is done without the pomp and pageantry which is usually involved in the former.
The Down Sides of Becoming an Iya Bride
Although everything about this screams Slavery, The title of being an Iya bride is usually considered a prestigious title and the brides usually brag about being an Iya bride — as they believe it to mean that they are highly fertile women. And being a highly fertile woman is a huge deal in the Kalabari tribe. But here are some downsides of being an Iya Bride (Iya Erebo).
- The Iya bride is prohibited from getting married to another as she’s already considered a married woman and the wife of the woman who paid her bride price.
- She doesn’t get to find true love or live with any man — including the fathers of her children. Unless her owner either dies or permits it.
- She gets passed around by the men in the family.
- She doesn’t get to claim ownership of any of the children she gives birth to — as all her children automatically belong to the woman who paid her bride price.
- She isn’t allowed to relocate
- Her children must never refer to her as their mother, rather they see her owner as their mother.
The Iya traditional marriage of the Kalabari tribe where women marry women from other tribes to become “baby makers” — to increase the size of their family, is one that is considered by outsiders to be similar to gay marriage but must commonly Slavery — as the tribe only goes out to other tribes but prohibits their girls from being married in the same way. Even the children born to them by the Iya brides are forbidden from getting involved in this type of marriage.
Wondering if this marriage is still in practice in this day and time? Well, the answer is Yes but on a low key.