As defined by Urban Dictionary, a sugar baby is a young female or male who is financially pampered/cared for by a sugar daddy or sugar mama in exchange for companionship. This companionship may include sexual favors, depending on the consensual agreement between parties.
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community who have ever worked as sugar babies to tell us about their experiences. We received a variety of interesting and eye-opening accounts. Here are stories and comments that really stuck out:
1. "I was working four jobs, then got into a program for my Master's. I knew I couldn’t keep up my crazy work schedule and study, so I started looking at other options. I talked to my husband about an article I had found on sugar babies and we both agreed on some limits and safety precautions. I signed up for Seeking Arrangements with a fake name and a profile that accentuated all the quirky things about me. I had a lot of interest, but really 99% of the guys were looking for a cheap escort. I spent a lot of time talking to potential ‘daddies.' I hate the term; it's so infantilizing and creates a huge power imbalance. I had some of the best meals and the worst sex of my life, but I did at least get my tuition paid in full before my term started. It worked for me, but I don’t recommend it in general."
"Sugaring is sex work lite, but with a bunch of emotional baggage and boundary crossers. I think a lot of people see it as an easy option, but it’s not. It’s a world filled with people looking to take advantage. Stay clear, or be a proper escort."
—Anonymous
2. "I've been a sugar baby for close to five years. I met my first sugar daddy on Tinder, and we’ve been happily together ever since. We’ve gone on trips to South America and Europe, eaten at luxury/Michelin-starred restaurants, and stayed at luxury hotels/spa resorts. I've received designer bags (mostly Gucci and Chanel), had my rent paid, received a monthly allowance, and been given many tech gifts (gaming desktop, gaming monitor, printer for university, iPad Pro [and] pen, Apple watch, iPhones for my sister and I, Nintendo Switch, laptops for my sister and I, etc.). For one of my birthday presents, I received liposuction surgery, and he paid the full $8,000 amount! I actually got the iPad Pro and pen from another sugar daddy on our second date, which blew my mind quite honestly."
3. "I honestly have not had the best experience and I think young women should be warned about trying to find a sugar daddy on the internet. The websites that cater to people looking to enter a sugar relationship are populated with men looking for cheap sex and to manipulate younger women. I had one sugar daddy pay the full allowance we agreed upon for one month and then expected me to keep seeing him for far less because he said what we had was 'real.' Others tried to push my boundaries when it came to using protection. In general, a lot of these men are expecting tons of attention and emotional labor for very little. It's definitely a form of sex work, whether people want to admit it or not. I switched to advertising as a high-end escort and have found my clients to be more respectful and generous than anyone I met on a sugaring website."
—Anonymous
4. "In my early 20s I was working full-time, but still mostly broke after paying bills. I had met an older friend who was an up-and-coming professional and was still closeted because of his career. So, he would often take me to fancy dinners and buy me nice clothes to wear out to functions where he would be networking. I wasn't interested in a serious relationship with anyone or settling down at that time, so he worked as a cover for me too. It worked out great for the both of us. He is now very successful, married to a wonderful husband, and has two kids."
5. "This was my first and last sugar baby date. I met a guy who initially told me he was 6 feet tall. He ended up being 5'5", if that. I could look past that — height was not the issue. The issues arose when we went to the hotel and he wanted to smell my breath, armpits, and ~other~ areas. No sex, just sniffing. If that's your thing, OK. But, when I ask you beforehand what you're into, maybe mention it! He just told me he was into the basics. I made $300 and blocked him as soon as I left."
—Anonymous
6. "I never really had a sugar daddy or mama. They all scammed me and I never received actual money from them. They were so fake and asked me for money when it was their job to pay me."
7. "I'm a bit of a 'spicy' sugar baby. My arrangement is with a wealthy, submissive sugar daddy. We met through a sugar baby website. My profile stood out because I'm an aspiring dominatrix. Much of what we do is the same — companionship, shopping, allowances, etc. What's special about us is the BDSM aspect. I'm his domme and he is my submissive. He wants me to own, control, and dominate him. I'm happy to oblige! We play out this consensual, kinky dynamic through scenes, rules, and tasks. There's something deeply satisfying and empowering about dominating an entitled, old, white man as a 25-year-old woman! I like to think I'm balancing out the patriarchy and redistributing the wealth."
"And, honestly? The world would be a better place if more men in positions of power found the strength to submit to a strong, caring woman. So yeah, sometimes I walk my sugar daddy on a leash. If you want to be a sugar baby, just be yourself, follow your interests, and the right sugar daddy will find you!"
—Anonymous
8. "This one sugar daddy ghosted me because I made a joke he didn't like. He only gave me $70, and it only lasted a week."
9. "I’m in the adult film industry. When we entered into quarantine at the start of COVID, I threw a fit about how I needed a new MacBook in order to cam and work from home. My sugar daddy went and bought me one. I dumped him right after. I never ended up giving that guy any sugar."
—Anonymous
10. "I used a sugar baby website for about eight months when I needed the extra money. Honestly, it wasn’t that bad. A lot of the guys I met up with were not that old or unattractive, and usually were very nice. There was one older guy who tasted like cooked spinach...that was pretty gross. One guy brought everything he could possibly think of to our meet-up because he wanted to be prepared. He brought snacks, water, mouthwash, and an extra blanket. He was sweet. There were a few guys who were interested in some very kinky things. I eventually stopped because the time commitment was too much for me, as I was also trying to see friends and actually date. But, I don’t regret it at all. It was fun."
11. "I started sugar dating when my last real relationship crashed and burned. I still had physical needs, but was hesitant to put my heart on the line again. I was going to join Tinder for casual hookups, but I found a sugar baby website instead. It took a while to weed through the fakes — plenty of guys on there have no intention of actually meeting you, let alone paying you — but after about six months, I finally found a great guy. He's about 30 years older than me, married, and doesn't get any action at home (according to him). He gives me $1,000 a month in cash as an allowance, and we only see each other a few hours every other weekend. Sometimes he will take me out for lunch or dinner, and he got me a pretty, little necklace for Valentine's Day, but our interactions are minimal."
"I send him cute, little texts during the week just to be dutiful, but he often doesn't reply for days. He has hinted about taking me with him on a vacation to Florida, but we will see how that pans out. And yes, of course I have sex with him. Despite what some women on TikTok say, very few men will pay a woman just to be a platonic girlfriend, no matter how hot she is. For every girl that wants to be platonic, there's dozens of others who are willing to put out. If sex isn't something you're comfortable with, you won't do well as a sugar baby. Facts."
—Anonymous
12. "I went on Tinder when I wanted to get back into the dating pool, but I left my age preference wide open just in case. A doctor in the city sent me a swipe note about being a sugar daddy. We clicked immediately and had two fun meets together, but then I started to fall for him, which was totally out of line. He did not reciprocate, and things fell off. Now I have two new sugar daddies who treat me very well and have completely changed my life."
13. "I’ve been working as a sugar baby for about a year now! It’s actually my full-time job. I have an ever-changing rotation of daddies who I see, and they each give me weekly allowances. It’s sort of the ideal job because when I’m not going on dates, I can focus on my fitness and my hobbies. I get the pay of two full-time jobs while working no more than 20 hours a week. Part of that comes with first dates though. They can be frustrating, boring, or really fun."
—Anonymous
14. "I was on Seeking Arrangement for a couple of years. First, I tried the site in New York where the competition was higher and it was harder to stand out as a sugar baby. Then, I moved to Taipei and got so many sugar daddies right away. There was one guy who was so socially awkward and unattractive, but would pay so much money upfront to have sex with him. There was also this super old dude who gave me debit cards to use. I would never touch his body when we had sex, but found out that shoulders are alright because they don’t really age. Most of my experiences were short-term. The long-term daddies kind of freak me out because I don’t want it to become a lifestyle."
15. "More money, less problems. No pressures, no promises. No more 'I love you's.' So worth it."
—Anonymous
16. "I love dating older men, and being a sugar baby just seems to fit me like a glove. I love the looks we get when we're out in public, and my guy is sexy and takes care of me so well. I don't think I can ever go back to normal dating ever again!"
17. "I'm 25 and have been staying at a friend's place with their family until I can save up enough money to move out on my own. Financially, I've been so stressed and I looked into other ways of getting money besides working. I'm staying with them because I had a failed engagement and moved back in with my biological family, who was abusive and toxic. I was desperate for money, and knew that you have to be confident and in a good mental state for this lifestyle. My first sugar daddy was a normal, older guy who took me to dinner and gave me money. Since my first experience wasn't bad, I decided to do it again."
"The second guy was much older and married. He had no manners and kept insisting I go back to his place because his wife was out of town. I do PPM, which means pay per meet, up front in cash. I had made it very clear that those were my rules and he'd agreed to them. Later, when it was time for the dinner date and we were having a conversation, he started denying me the money. I said fine and was going to call it a night. He tried to save the date by saying he did have the money and showed me an envelope. I asked for him to open it. He did, and it was empty.
He also verbally harassed me and tried to keep me there. I had to call a friend and come up with an escape plan. This man insisted on taking me and going with me — I couldn't shake him off at all! At that point, I had no protection with me and didn't know what to do, so I decided to push him away. He offered me $300 in cash and I laughed at him and said that money was supposed to be for dinner. He was so angry and said he wasn't paying $300 to sit and eat with me and that more needed to come from our meetup. I told him we weren't a good match and to leave me alone before I called for help. I left and drove around for a while to make sure I wasn't followed. I've decided now to work my job and remain quiet while I figure out what my next step is."
—Anonymous
18. "I thought the idea of receiving money from a man in a sugar daddy/sugar baby set up would make me feel used and uncomfortable, but it actually had the opposite effect. I felt taken care of, appreciated, and respected. It also was a good exercise for me to ask for financial help when I truly needed it instead of suffering in silence. And, they’re not all old, sleazy men that are interested in this type of arrangement. I actually had a sugar daddy who was younger than me. He called himself my sugar cub."
19. "I tried to sugar for a bit while in a tough financial spot in 2016. I went on a few dates with some men, most of whom just wanted someone to tell about their own accomplishments and to feel better about themselves while flashing around a lot of cash. I never slept with any of them, but ended up quitting after giving a guy a handjob in a parking lot and he started crying about his wife with MS. I didn’t sign up for anything like that."
—Anonymous
20. "I've been on Seeking for years. I've met a few people and spoken to many, and I've seen some of the most toxic examples of humanity and masculinity truly ever. I've been on various dating sites for decades, sometimes for romance, but mainly to stay connected with friends or make new ones. I've spoken to thousands of people over the decades, and it's been like a personal science experiment around human behavior."
21. Finally: "Being a sugar baby has its pros and cons just like any situation. But, one thing I know for sure is that being in this type of relationship definitely helps set your standards. It shows you what you're really looking for. I was a sugar baby to a married man, and I was glad he was married because I didn’t want anything serious, and neither did he. It was just for fun. The relationships with no strings attached were appealing to me. Fast forward a year, and it's not so appealing anymore. You don’t realize how the situation can change when you fall in love, which is what happened to me. Falling in love with a married man is not a pleasant experience. You realize you're just a 'side chick' to the man you love. If I could do it all over again, I would guard my heart more and not fall so freely."
—Anonymous
To those who submitted stories, we appreciate your honesty and vulnerability! Thank you for sharing your experiences.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.