What’s something sociably acceptable for one gender but not the other? : r/AskReddit
BeautifulCutiee58-74 minutes
I remember in high school, for square dancing girls paired up without any issue, but you’d never see two boys paired up.
I remember learning a dance in gym, although I don't remember what. Our teacher had a hard rule that your partner had to be of the opposite sex, as he claimed it was "too confusing" otherwise. There were more boys than girls, so the girls would be dancing the whole time while the boys took turns. For whatever reason, two boys decided to pair up, and when our teacher discovered it he yelled at them, then proceeded to give them a long and angry lecture. I think some girls paired up a while later, and he just calmly told them he understands they want to be with a friend, but that they need to be with a boy.
Now that I think about it, I guess being yelled at is something to add to the list. That same teacher would often yell at boys but talk to girls, sometimes going as far as to seperate us first if the whole class was acting up.
Dad here. I was driving home one day and saw a little boy with a back pack walking next to a busy road near our house and this wooded area. I slowed down and watched him…I traveled that route often and usually at the same time and I’d never seen him before. He also seemed JUST young enough that I was uncomfortable that he was walking alone.
I’m also incredibly socially aware that I’m a big 6-2 oil and gas man driving a truck and if I pull up and get out and start talking to him it could spook him or freak someone out…I was worried he’d bolt into the woods and this would get worse. I hung back and called my wife at the time. I just watched him and made sure nothing happened to him until she got there. She pulls up and goes right up to him. He’s lost. Got off the bus at the wrong stop. Gets right in my wife’s car and she takes him back to the school. His mom and dad had been frantically looking for him. When my wife showed up with him they were hysterical. My wife told them I’d spotted him walking next to the busy road and this sketchy wooded area.
I had no idea any of this was going down. I’m at the house thinking my wife took the kid back to the school and would be home shortly.
Door bell rings.
It’s the mom and my wife. The dad is in their mini van with the boy…she’s so emotional she can barely talk and she just reaches out and hugs me. Like…REALLY hugs me…holds me for a bit while she’s just losing it sobbing. I was in my late 30’s, oil and gas guy, grew up on a farm, I had no idea how to respond so I just held her and let her cry. She eventually calms down and thanks me and leaves. She friended my wife on FB and I’d check on them periodically. She’d bring us cupcakes or a cake every once in a while, update us on her boy…I’m divorced now and I don’t have the connection anymore. I live on the other side of the country and I sometimes wonder if he’s doing alright.
I got off track there but what I was getting at is there was definitely a difference in ME pulling over and approaching a little boy and my wife doing it.
I'm a guy and I babysat as a teenager. I was good at it and the kiddo adored me. But as soon as the girl on our street hit babysitting age, I wasn't needed anymore.
I suggested to my husband that our neighbor’s son could watch our (currently unborn) kids. Husband said no that’s weird. But no complaints about the other two neighbors’ daughters.
In a hospital emergency trauma room I was in with a pile of nurses, rts, drs, paramedics ect (for a likely overdose of a early 20's male - the 3 female nurses were commenting on his penis and googling which std they though he had.
Holy shit if I (30's male) goggled at a patients labia and guessed which std she had, I would be fired.
I work in an office full of women. They are very huggy and have a tendancy to talk very openly about their views on dating/marriage/etc. It's very gossipy.
They don't seem to like me joining in, and the four other guys are very quiet.
There's lots but I'll share my personal annoyance.
I work in a hospital setting with a majority of younger females. All early to mid 20s. They are always talking and gossiping and often times the conversations turn sexual in nature. I have heard so much inside info on the sex lives of everyone around the hospital it's insane.
One time the discussion was about roommates. I chimed in briefly and said my wife and I had a short lived roommate. She moved in, seemed to like me a little too much and kept hinting that she was interested in hooking up. We shot it down and asked her to move out.
I was escorted to HR the next day and investigated for 3 weeks because one of the girls reported me and said that kind of talk made her feel very uncomfortable.
This is the same girl that was giggling with the other girls about gargling cum after a Valentine's Day blowjob to make her boyfriend happy. The same girl that admitted she learned how to do it by cheating on her boyfriend with multiple other guys around the hospital.
Wtf...
I mean that just sounds like a specifically shitty person
Being homeless. A lot more resources and available shelters if you're not a scary man, and it's a lot easier for us to look past a man who is homeless and tell ourselves that it's the consequences of his own doings.
I used to be homeless, to make it worse I was homeless and underage. The only resources I had were my own. My city didn't have shelters, or programs. The only money I'd ask for was legitimately to get used on food, and a shower at a truck stop. Sometimes people would just give me food, others would ask what I'm actually going to use it one, which I was honest about. One guy seemingly tested me by offering me food, or money. He showed me the bag of Wendy's he just bought, or I could have taken a 100 dollar bill. I didn't catch it in time, but I drooled on myself. I think that's what made him realize that I wasn't just another junky looking for a fix. The look in his eyes, made me see that he saw I was hurting, and that he felt bad for testing me. He ended up apologizing, and gave me both. Little does he know, that money ultimately helped me get some better clothes that allowed me to get a job.
As a guy who wears kilts every day of the year, I can assure you no one ever treats it as unacceptable. Some see it as funny, most think it is awesome, but no one says I shouldn't be wearing it. Even if they don't know what a kilt is.
Women: " Oh, your daughter looks so sweet in that outfit." perfectly fine. No questions asked.
Men: " Oh, your daughter looks so sweet in that outfit" ewww creep, you pedo.
I felt very awkward talking to a random kid today while I was rock climbing, then it struck me that the dad barely glanced twice when I was doing so. It’s strange to me that this is the case.
Used to work with a guy, one of the most religious but nicest people I've ever met. He'd come into work often with a busted lip, bruises, etc and finally told us why one day. His wife would beat the shit out of him for even looking at her "wrong" yet he'd never even raise a hand toward her. We called the police for him to report it, they came to work one day and talked to us and him and ultimately did nothing about it.
About a year later he finally snapped and slapped her back(open handed) when she was hitting him over not giving her money for cigarettes and she called the police. He was arrested.
This one always bothered me. Obviously I don't think anybody should go around just hitting each other. But if a woman comes up and just slaps a man, I think it should be socially acceptable to slap her back. Keep it in mind that men are inherently physically stronger by nature. So yes a hit by a man can hurt more but that doesn't mean that he should just sit there and have to take it because she's a woman. A woman does not get a free pass to go around hitting people just because she has a vagina. And yes I am a woman and I still believe this
The fact that in the modern day, the only defence a man has towards physical abuse is either immobilisation or leaving says a lot. One of the things about the Amber Heard trial that stuck with me was that Depp tried leaving the area multiple times during arguments, but she just kept following and taunting him. If you were to flip the script, I think people would go ballistic.
and even more acceptable is the destruction of property. I was listening to Bill Burr's podcast recently and he was answering a viewer question about how to exit a relationship without having all their stuff destroyed. Burr talks about how ridiculous it is that women can just destroy property and get away with it, and it's absolutely true.
Keying/vandalising cars, destroying electronics, burning clothing, etc. I'm not saying men don't also do it, but I've heard so many stories about women doing this to men that it almost seems like a cultural norm.
When I get a 5000$ sex doll with a realistic self lubricating silicon mouth, a semen collection tray, simulated pregnancies, and the ability to be mounted with one leg in the air I'm suddenly a weirdo.
I feel like this is changing, or else I just stopped caring and bought myself some toys. Who the fuck is going to judge me who knows enough about my dick activities to know, anyway?
Ooh. I thought about this a lot over the last two weeks when I had a suture in my areola. It made my nipple itch so badly. I realized that as a female, I....couldn't really scratch my nipple in public and thought about how if a man had an itchy nipple he could just go for it and it wouldn't be weird or sexualized.
So. Nipple scratching.
Im a women and i do it anyways. If its itchy imma itch it
This one annoys me. I've seen examples of it everywhere offline and online, including in random posts here on Reddit. (It was worse on Quora, back when Quora was actually a serious site. I chalked it up to older users at first, but it was the same in spaces used almost entirely by younger people.) If a man mentions his, there will be some joking, but there won't be much disapproval or shaming, if there's any at all; if a woman mentions hers, there will be some joking, and there will also be more disapproval and/or shaming.
Living at home with your parents, especially at 25+.
When a woman does it, no man gives a shit and she needs to be rescued.
When a man does it, he's a basement dwelling neckbeard loser.
Keep this in mind in this day & age of unaffordable housing.
This is going to and is becoming more common as housing prices have lost their fucking minds. If one hasn't attained housing before 2004 or so, they are taking on a mortgage or rent that takes multiple breadwinners to work. Food and shelter. Shelter is leaving the equation.
I like playing with kids, when I see a kid crying I like trying to cheer them up and making them smile. That's what I do when with family at our functions. I would be worried about doing that out in public. Despite being acoustic, I like that as a joke, I'm aware enough that parents aren't fond of strangers getting too close to their kids, and getting close to random kids who are upset in stores is unwise because parents are suspicious of men who approach them. Women seem to be able to approach well enough without parents getting too upset.
It's not fair.... I like playing with kids :(..... but parents have that right to defend their children from adults they don't know.
I have 2 BIL who are the biggest fans of babies. Even when he was dating my sister in high school, he would make a point to have my sister insist on him taking a turn holding the latest baby because he thought it would be weird if he asked to hold the baby.
Not one to get into gender ideology, but this always resonated with me. Not for me personally, but I understand.
Girls can wear jeans / And cut their hair short / Wear shirts and boots / Because it’s okay to be a boy
Then why did I get bullied all through middle school for not dressing and acting feminine enough? 🤔
Masculinity in women is less stigmatized than femininity in men, but anyone who claims that it's socially acceptable is out of touch with reality. And let's not forget there are countries where being a masculine women will get you murdered... America isn't the whole world
perfectly social acceptable for a woman, but people need to gossip and point out when a man wears hair piece - whether it be a bad toupee or an expensive topper.
Asking a lost child if they are OK? I'm a large male with high empathy, basically a giant teddy bear, if I see someone distressed - especially a child I want to help... society has made me feel it is unsafe for me to help a lost child find his parents or even offer any form of comfort unless there is a female present. I am more likely to call the police and observe while maintaining my distance than to offer direct assistance if I am by myself.
Society has made the personal risk, far outweigh the act of simple kindness. This saddens me.
Hello fellow giant teddy bear!
I second this.
I work with children, and outside of my job im keeping my distance aswell.
Also taking my fucking seat when I go out for a smoke at the bar apparently. Never once have I had a dude take my seat, but you better believe I've had bitches ignore the half full beer and the ball cap on the bar and just sit right down
Yeah, for so many people, feminine man = gay. Sadly, this makes so many men who want to wear more feminine clothes or do more feminine things stop out of fear.
Women can usually talk to children they don't know and it not raise and alarm, but if a random dude starts talking to a child it's usually frowned upon
I've always thought the idea of "professional attire" between men and women was kinda bullshit. Women can wear flowy, thin, breathable shirts and shorts or skirts, plus sandals, and men have to cover everything between wrist and neck, full pant with dress shoes? 2 shirts and a jacket? Maybe you're in one of those offices that isn't so fussy but guys still have to wear pants all the time.
Telling someone of the same gender they're attractive
Deciding not to have children.
I'm currently engaged and have never wanted to have kids. My eldest younger brother has never had a girlfriend, so kids aren't on his mind [yet?]. My youngest brother got married last year, and as far as I know, he doesn't plan to have kids.
I'm the only one who gets any shit for my decision to be child-free, despite the fact that (1) I'm not the only child of my mother's to make that decision and (2) I've voiced that sentiment since I was ten. My aunts and uncles have apparently asked my mom behind my back why it doesn't bother her that her only daughter isn't going to give her grandchildren (despite the fact that she already has several through my older adopted stepbrother). It's only ever about me, nothing about my brothers.
For women, babysitting. Still a huge taboo towards male babysitters.
Openly talking about their preferences when it comes to the other sex. Everyone knows most women prefer taller men and everyone knows most men prefer women with bigger breasts, neither is exactly a secret. But somehow it's very socially acceptable for women to openly state their preference and not so much for men, outside of locker-room talk.
Like there's this blind dating show on German TV and at least one out of two women there say they hope their date is tall. But I imagine if a dude their would say "I hope she has big tits" people would see him as a superficial, rude asshole.
Being a single dad, you and your kid will never get invited to single parent meetups for kids. It is all “mommy and me” and you will literally get hate mail if you ask to join on Meetup so your kid can socialize with other kids. I eventually made “friends” with two single moms because our kids got along really well. I suggested that we hang out together and they just never could. We eventually found a date that worked every now and then. At one point they let it slip that they have been hanging out all this time and they just never invited my kid because of me. 🥲
This one
If a man is a single father then he is seen as a hero who has sacrificed his life for the good of his child and he should be praised and worshiped and given everything in life. Especially when it comes to work. Endless days off or whatever accommodations he needs
If a woman is a single mother then she is seen as a gold digging slut and whore who probably has a body count in the several hundreds. She's just a whiny little bitch who probably purposely had the child to control a man or get days off of work or accommodation she doesn't deserve. She needs to work harder and learn responsibilities and give up even more of her life and never allowed to leave her child alone and never allowed to do anything fun and always be chided for everything she does and everything is her fault since she was obviously born as a slut
girls can casually hit guys hard (ex: when laughing or roughhousing) and get away with it easily thinking it's funny. ofc guys can't do anything with it bc if they were to reciprocate, they'll be called names.
Women in their 40s-50s think it’s ok to touch me when I’m in a bar and often get angry and sometimes retaliate if they can’t get away with it. I’m a 39 year old male. It’s been this way for a decade or so. Im not muscular or anything..just an average dude.
For sex ed, we had an anonymous question jar in our classroom. One of the girls put a question in for teacher that was "what was your first time like with your wife?". The teacher got offended and told the head master.
It is also worth noting that for the actual sessions we were split into boys and girls, but the box was in a common area. Anyways, the teachers knew it just had to be a boy that wrote it, so we all got detention for each lunch and sex ed session until someone owned up. The detention consisted of sitting cross-legged on the wooden floor of the school hall, being lectured on how it was the fault of whichever boy wrote the question, and how they were selfish for not coming forward to stop the suffering of their peers.
Meanwhile the girls continued as normal with their lunch breaks and sex ed sessions. Their sex ed sessions were basically pampering sessions as their teacher brought in spa kits and stuff like that for them. Eventually we half worked out that a girl had done, so we confronted her and she admitted it.
We weren't snitches, so we peer pressured her into admitting it. The teacher that put the boxes out was mildly annoyed, but the head master just gave her a slap on the wrist. There was no acknowledgement that the boys corporal punishment was unfair, and no bother to make amends to us.
In the end I guess they thought it was socially acceptable for boys to be corporally punished for something they didn't do. Also they seemed to think that if the girl wrote the question it was out of genuine curiosity, but if a guy wrote it was to offend the teacher. There were many times like this, and it was usually that same girl involved.
Parents keep on expecting unreal strength from me just because I'm a man even though I physically can't lift up such weights meanwhile its fine for girls to not be able to lift up things.
I was at an event where the women's line was extremely long, and the men's line was, of course, quick. All these girls cut the entire guy line and just went right into the guys bathroom. A guy could never go into the girls' room and definitely wouldn't be able to cut all the girls waiting to enter.
I'm definitely thankful we can use urinals, women have it rough at events.
I 28 F work at a supermarket. When stacking shelves one day a contractor came in to do some maintenance work down the aisle I was working in.
The contractor in question was an Indian dude around my age. He asked me where the bathroom was, which then flowed into simple conversation about how I liked my job, what I liked to do in my spare time, music I enjoyed listening to, what tv shows I was currently watching etc.
I didn’t think anything of it and was enjoying our casual chat. He then broke off mid conversation to apologise if he was creeping me out and explained how he works long hours and gets quite lonely. He also mentioned that a lot the girls he talks to immediately label him a creep and report him, when this simply isn’t the case at all.
I honestly felt really bad for him. It’s sad seeing how society has stereotyped Indian men. People need to remember not to tar everyone with the same brush.
I remember in high school, for square dancing girls paired up without any issue, but you’d never see two boys paired up.
I remember learning a dance in gym, although I don't remember what. Our teacher had a hard rule that your partner had to be of the opposite sex, as he claimed it was "too confusing" otherwise. There were more boys than girls, so the girls would be dancing the whole time while the boys took turns. For whatever reason, two boys decided to pair up, and when our teacher discovered it he yelled at them, then proceeded to give them a long and angry lecture. I think some girls paired up a while later, and he just calmly told them he understands they want to be with a friend, but that they need to be with a boy.
Now that I think about it, I guess being yelled at is something to add to the list. That same teacher would often yell at boys but talk to girls, sometimes going as far as to seperate us first if the whole class was acting up.
As a woman, I can absolutely walk up to another woman & tell her that she looks absolutely scorching hot & not be considered creepy.
Dad here. I was driving home one day and saw a little boy with a back pack walking next to a busy road near our house and this wooded area. I slowed down and watched him…I traveled that route often and usually at the same time and I’d never seen him before. He also seemed JUST young enough that I was uncomfortable that he was walking alone.
I’m also incredibly socially aware that I’m a big 6-2 oil and gas man driving a truck and if I pull up and get out and start talking to him it could spook him or freak someone out…I was worried he’d bolt into the woods and this would get worse. I hung back and called my wife at the time. I just watched him and made sure nothing happened to him until she got there. She pulls up and goes right up to him. He’s lost. Got off the bus at the wrong stop. Gets right in my wife’s car and she takes him back to the school. His mom and dad had been frantically looking for him. When my wife showed up with him they were hysterical. My wife told them I’d spotted him walking next to the busy road and this sketchy wooded area.
I had no idea any of this was going down. I’m at the house thinking my wife took the kid back to the school and would be home shortly.
Door bell rings.
It’s the mom and my wife. The dad is in their mini van with the boy…she’s so emotional she can barely talk and she just reaches out and hugs me. Like…REALLY hugs me…holds me for a bit while she’s just losing it sobbing. I was in my late 30’s, oil and gas guy, grew up on a farm, I had no idea how to respond so I just held her and let her cry. She eventually calms down and thanks me and leaves. She friended my wife on FB and I’d check on them periodically. She’d bring us cupcakes or a cake every once in a while, update us on her boy…I’m divorced now and I don’t have the connection anymore. I live on the other side of the country and I sometimes wonder if he’s doing alright.
I got off track there but what I was getting at is there was definitely a difference in ME pulling over and approaching a little boy and my wife doing it.
I'm a guy and I babysat as a teenager. I was good at it and the kiddo adored me. But as soon as the girl on our street hit babysitting age, I wasn't needed anymore.
That didn't feel great, I'll tell ya.
I suggested to my husband that our neighbor’s son could watch our (currently unborn) kids. Husband said no that’s weird. But no complaints about the other two neighbors’ daughters.
In a hospital emergency trauma room I was in with a pile of nurses, rts, drs, paramedics ect (for a likely overdose of a early 20's male - the 3 female nurses were commenting on his penis and googling which std they though he had.
Holy shit if I (30's male) goggled at a patients labia and guessed which std she had, I would be fired.
I work in an office full of women. They are very huggy and have a tendancy to talk very openly about their views on dating/marriage/etc. It's very gossipy.
They don't seem to like me joining in, and the four other guys are very quiet.
Going to the bathroom together. Girls do it, zero questions. Guys? What the fuck are you doing?
Being shirtless and having your nips out
Depending on the country is not acceptable for either
My girlfriend won't let me
Vs
My boyfriend won't let me
Also, throwing drinks, slapping or general violence for minor infractions
Too true, my girlfriend won't let me gets you some zings from your buddies
My boyfriend won't let me gets you accusations of abuse
There's lots but I'll share my personal annoyance.
I work in a hospital setting with a majority of younger females. All early to mid 20s. They are always talking and gossiping and often times the conversations turn sexual in nature. I have heard so much inside info on the sex lives of everyone around the hospital it's insane.
One time the discussion was about roommates. I chimed in briefly and said my wife and I had a short lived roommate. She moved in, seemed to like me a little too much and kept hinting that she was interested in hooking up. We shot it down and asked her to move out.
I was escorted to HR the next day and investigated for 3 weeks because one of the girls reported me and said that kind of talk made her feel very uncomfortable.
This is the same girl that was giggling with the other girls about gargling cum after a Valentine's Day blowjob to make her boyfriend happy. The same girl that admitted she learned how to do it by cheating on her boyfriend with multiple other guys around the hospital.
Wtf...
I mean that just sounds like a specifically shitty person
Wanting to work in childcare.
Telling your friends that you are felling sad.
Talking to children if you don’t have any kids. If you’re a woman it’s perfectly fine. If you’re a man then you are a pervert and a pedo.
Slapping a man across the face is still seen as acceptable in so many places, a guy does that he’s up for assault. NO ONE should be slapping anyone.
Being homeless. A lot more resources and available shelters if you're not a scary man, and it's a lot easier for us to look past a man who is homeless and tell ourselves that it's the consequences of his own doings.
I used to be homeless, to make it worse I was homeless and underage. The only resources I had were my own. My city didn't have shelters, or programs. The only money I'd ask for was legitimately to get used on food, and a shower at a truck stop. Sometimes people would just give me food, others would ask what I'm actually going to use it one, which I was honest about. One guy seemingly tested me by offering me food, or money. He showed me the bag of Wendy's he just bought, or I could have taken a 100 dollar bill. I didn't catch it in time, but I drooled on myself. I think that's what made him realize that I wasn't just another junky looking for a fix. The look in his eyes, made me see that he saw I was hurting, and that he felt bad for testing me. He ended up apologizing, and gave me both. Little does he know, that money ultimately helped me get some better clothes that allowed me to get a job.
Edit: fixed typos
Wearing mini skirts or dresses
Scotland enters the chat.
As a guy who wears kilts every day of the year, I can assure you no one ever treats it as unacceptable. Some see it as funny, most think it is awesome, but no one says I shouldn't be wearing it. Even if they don't know what a kilt is.
Cry when someone yell at you
I do that as a guy but I think it's an autism thing
Cry in general when we don’t get what we want.
Women: " Oh, your daughter looks so sweet in that outfit." perfectly fine. No questions asked.
Men: " Oh, your daughter looks so sweet in that outfit" ewww creep, you pedo.
I felt very awkward talking to a random kid today while I was rock climbing, then it struck me that the dad barely glanced twice when I was doing so. It’s strange to me that this is the case.
Hitting the other gender.
Used to work with a guy, one of the most religious but nicest people I've ever met. He'd come into work often with a busted lip, bruises, etc and finally told us why one day. His wife would beat the shit out of him for even looking at her "wrong" yet he'd never even raise a hand toward her. We called the police for him to report it, they came to work one day and talked to us and him and ultimately did nothing about it.
About a year later he finally snapped and slapped her back(open handed) when she was hitting him over not giving her money for cigarettes and she called the police. He was arrested.
The system is fucked.
Equal rights, equal fights motherfuckers.
This, sorry if you’ve experienced this bro… it’s not easy
It's not socially acceptable for anyone to be hitting anyone.
This one always bothered me. Obviously I don't think anybody should go around just hitting each other. But if a woman comes up and just slaps a man, I think it should be socially acceptable to slap her back. Keep it in mind that men are inherently physically stronger by nature. So yes a hit by a man can hurt more but that doesn't mean that he should just sit there and have to take it because she's a woman. A woman does not get a free pass to go around hitting people just because she has a vagina. And yes I am a woman and I still believe this
The fact that in the modern day, the only defence a man has towards physical abuse is either immobilisation or leaving says a lot. One of the things about the Amber Heard trial that stuck with me was that Depp tried leaving the area multiple times during arguments, but she just kept following and taunting him. If you were to flip the script, I think people would go ballistic.
going to the toilet in pairs, when I did it, I got kicked out the green grocers.
That pun works a lot better spoken.
Women assaulting men is often socially acceptable.
It shouldn't be. Do not accept it, ever.
and even more acceptable is the destruction of property. I was listening to Bill Burr's podcast recently and he was answering a viewer question about how to exit a relationship without having all their stuff destroyed. Burr talks about how ridiculous it is that women can just destroy property and get away with it, and it's absolutely true.
Keying/vandalising cars, destroying electronics, burning clothing, etc. I'm not saying men don't also do it, but I've heard so many stories about women doing this to men that it almost seems like a cultural norm.
When a girl gets a dildo, it's innocent fun.
When I get a 5000$ sex doll with a realistic self lubricating silicon mouth, a semen collection tray, simulated pregnancies, and the ability to be mounted with one leg in the air I'm suddenly a weirdo.
I feel like this is changing, or else I just stopped caring and bought myself some toys. Who the fuck is going to judge me who knows enough about my dick activities to know, anyway?
I see toys for women in drug stores and department stores in the same section as the condoms and lube, but no toys for men.
Dad here. Just taking my toddler to the playground I’d get the side eye from the soccer moms there.
Ooh. I thought about this a lot over the last two weeks when I had a suture in my areola. It made my nipple itch so badly. I realized that as a female, I....couldn't really scratch my nipple in public and thought about how if a man had an itchy nipple he could just go for it and it wouldn't be weird or sexualized.
So. Nipple scratching.
Im a women and i do it anyways. If its itchy imma itch it
Body count. (Edited: how many people you have slept with)
Which gender is allowed to kill more
Killing isn’t really celebrated in either gender as far as I know
This one annoys me. I've seen examples of it everywhere offline and online, including in random posts here on Reddit. (It was worse on Quora, back when Quora was actually a serious site. I chalked it up to older users at first, but it was the same in spaces used almost entirely by younger people.) If a man mentions his, there will be some joking, but there won't be much disapproval or shaming, if there's any at all; if a woman mentions hers, there will be some joking, and there will also be more disapproval and/or shaming.
Anger gets accepted…
Also if you are completely emotionless, it’s also a problem… source: autism…
Guy: "My girlfriend doesn't let me..."
Society: Oh, she's just looking out for you and making sure you don't do anything stupid.
Girl: "My boyfriend doesn't let me..."
Society: Oh, you need to break up with him. He's trying to control you and take away your agency.
Approach people for a conversation without being seen as a threat
Basically anything to do with children. Men are immediately seen as pedos by so many people.
Meanwhile, those same people seem to be the ones who would shelter a priest or coach from accusations. Duggar family types.
Living at home with your parents, especially at 25+.
When a woman does it, no man gives a shit and she needs to be rescued.
When a man does it, he's a basement dwelling neckbeard loser.
Keep this in mind in this day & age of unaffordable housing.
This is going to and is becoming more common as housing prices have lost their fucking minds. If one hasn't attained housing before 2004 or so, they are taking on a mortgage or rent that takes multiple breadwinners to work. Food and shelter. Shelter is leaving the equation.
I like playing with kids, when I see a kid crying I like trying to cheer them up and making them smile. That's what I do when with family at our functions. I would be worried about doing that out in public. Despite being acoustic, I like that as a joke, I'm aware enough that parents aren't fond of strangers getting too close to their kids, and getting close to random kids who are upset in stores is unwise because parents are suspicious of men who approach them. Women seem to be able to approach well enough without parents getting too upset.
It's not fair.... I like playing with kids :(..... but parents have that right to defend their children from adults they don't know.
I have 2 BIL who are the biggest fans of babies. Even when he was dating my sister in high school, he would make a point to have my sister insist on him taking a turn holding the latest baby because he thought it would be weird if he asked to hold the baby.
“But for a man to look like a girl is degrading, ..”
https://genius.com/Madonna-what-it-feels-like-for-a-girl-lyrics
Not one to get into gender ideology, but this always resonated with me. Not for me personally, but I understand.
Then why did I get bullied all through middle school for not dressing and acting feminine enough? 🤔
Masculinity in women is less stigmatized than femininity in men, but anyone who claims that it's socially acceptable is out of touch with reality. And let's not forget there are countries where being a masculine women will get you murdered... America isn't the whole world
Wigs.
perfectly social acceptable for a woman, but people need to gossip and point out when a man wears hair piece - whether it be a bad toupee or an expensive topper.
Venting, saying you're upset, talking about mental health.
Socially acceptable for men to go to the beach or pool without shaving between their legs, but not for women.
I think if a man had pubes sticking out, it’d be a problem.
Peeing behind someone’s house
U can get arrested for that regardless of gender, and you will be if caught by the wrong person
A woman that can't drive? No big deal, your boyfriend is basically your chauffer.
A man that can't drive? What a loser. Can you get a load of this reject?
Asking a lost child if they are OK? I'm a large male with high empathy, basically a giant teddy bear, if I see someone distressed - especially a child I want to help... society has made me feel it is unsafe for me to help a lost child find his parents or even offer any form of comfort unless there is a female present. I am more likely to call the police and observe while maintaining my distance than to offer direct assistance if I am by myself.
Society has made the personal risk, far outweigh the act of simple kindness. This saddens me.
Hello fellow giant teddy bear!
I second this.
I work with children, and outside of my job im keeping my distance aswell.
Even while on the job, im careful..
Hitting your SO when you're mad at them.
Touching random people in bars
Also taking my fucking seat when I go out for a smoke at the bar apparently. Never once have I had a dude take my seat, but you better believe I've had bitches ignore the half full beer and the ball cap on the bar and just sit right down
Yeah, for so many people, feminine man = gay. Sadly, this makes so many men who want to wear more feminine clothes or do more feminine things stop out of fear.
Women can usually talk to children they don't know and it not raise and alarm, but if a random dude starts talking to a child it's usually frowned upon
I've always thought the idea of "professional attire" between men and women was kinda bullshit. Women can wear flowy, thin, breathable shirts and shorts or skirts, plus sandals, and men have to cover everything between wrist and neck, full pant with dress shoes? 2 shirts and a jacket? Maybe you're in one of those offices that isn't so fussy but guys still have to wear pants all the time.
Walking around toplessness
Expressing emotions in public.
Gold Digging aka a man wanting woman to support him entirely
There’s a word for that - bum boyfriends. They totally exist. Leeches don’t know gender I guess
Farting proudly. Guys do it all the time but for girls it’s gross and frowned upon.
Nah, it's gross no matter what.
Nah, just don’t rip ass in public, friends and family, totally.
Deciding they don’t want kids
Guys can game relatively in peace. When a woman starts gaming, she's bombarded by simps or harassed.
Telling someone of the same gender they're attractive
Deciding not to have children.
I'm currently engaged and have never wanted to have kids. My eldest younger brother has never had a girlfriend, so kids aren't on his mind [yet?]. My youngest brother got married last year, and as far as I know, he doesn't plan to have kids.
I'm the only one who gets any shit for my decision to be child-free, despite the fact that (1) I'm not the only child of my mother's to make that decision and (2) I've voiced that sentiment since I was ten. My aunts and uncles have apparently asked my mom behind my back why it doesn't bother her that her only daughter isn't going to give her grandchildren (despite the fact that she already has several through my older adopted stepbrother). It's only ever about me, nothing about my brothers.
Being raped by opposite gender.
Getting married and the wife taking on the husband's last name is fine but the husband taking the wife's is weird.
No one has a problem with men jogging topless. The moment a woman does, all hell breaks loose
For women, babysitting. Still a huge taboo towards male babysitters.
Openly talking about their preferences when it comes to the other sex. Everyone knows most women prefer taller men and everyone knows most men prefer women with bigger breasts, neither is exactly a secret. But somehow it's very socially acceptable for women to openly state their preference and not so much for men, outside of locker-room talk.
Like there's this blind dating show on German TV and at least one out of two women there say they hope their date is tall. But I imagine if a dude their would say "I hope she has big tits" people would see him as a superficial, rude asshole.
Being a single dad, you and your kid will never get invited to single parent meetups for kids. It is all “mommy and me” and you will literally get hate mail if you ask to join on Meetup so your kid can socialize with other kids. I eventually made “friends” with two single moms because our kids got along really well. I suggested that we hang out together and they just never could. We eventually found a date that worked every now and then. At one point they let it slip that they have been hanging out all this time and they just never invited my kid because of me. 🥲
This one
If a man is a single father then he is seen as a hero who has sacrificed his life for the good of his child and he should be praised and worshiped and given everything in life. Especially when it comes to work. Endless days off or whatever accommodations he needs
If a woman is a single mother then she is seen as a gold digging slut and whore who probably has a body count in the several hundreds. She's just a whiny little bitch who probably purposely had the child to control a man or get days off of work or accommodation she doesn't deserve. She needs to work harder and learn responsibilities and give up even more of her life and never allowed to leave her child alone and never allowed to do anything fun and always be chided for everything she does and everything is her fault since she was obviously born as a slut
girls can casually hit guys hard (ex: when laughing or roughhousing) and get away with it easily thinking it's funny. ofc guys can't do anything with it bc if they were to reciprocate, they'll be called names.
Women in their 40s-50s think it’s ok to touch me when I’m in a bar and often get angry and sometimes retaliate if they can’t get away with it. I’m a 39 year old male. It’s been this way for a decade or so. Im not muscular or anything..just an average dude.
For sex ed, we had an anonymous question jar in our classroom. One of the girls put a question in for teacher that was "what was your first time like with your wife?". The teacher got offended and told the head master.
It is also worth noting that for the actual sessions we were split into boys and girls, but the box was in a common area. Anyways, the teachers knew it just had to be a boy that wrote it, so we all got detention for each lunch and sex ed session until someone owned up. The detention consisted of sitting cross-legged on the wooden floor of the school hall, being lectured on how it was the fault of whichever boy wrote the question, and how they were selfish for not coming forward to stop the suffering of their peers.
Meanwhile the girls continued as normal with their lunch breaks and sex ed sessions. Their sex ed sessions were basically pampering sessions as their teacher brought in spa kits and stuff like that for them. Eventually we half worked out that a girl had done, so we confronted her and she admitted it.
We weren't snitches, so we peer pressured her into admitting it. The teacher that put the boxes out was mildly annoyed, but the head master just gave her a slap on the wrist. There was no acknowledgement that the boys corporal punishment was unfair, and no bother to make amends to us.
In the end I guess they thought it was socially acceptable for boys to be corporally punished for something they didn't do. Also they seemed to think that if the girl wrote the question it was out of genuine curiosity, but if a guy wrote it was to offend the teacher. There were many times like this, and it was usually that same girl involved.
Wearing your partner's clothes.
Baring nipples in public.
Parents keep on expecting unreal strength from me just because I'm a man even though I physically can't lift up such weights meanwhile its fine for girls to not be able to lift up things.
Girls slapping their boyfriends
Girls using the guys' bathroom.
I was at an event where the women's line was extremely long, and the men's line was, of course, quick. All these girls cut the entire guy line and just went right into the guys bathroom. A guy could never go into the girls' room and definitely wouldn't be able to cut all the girls waiting to enter.
I'm definitely thankful we can use urinals, women have it rough at events.
I 28 F work at a supermarket. When stacking shelves one day a contractor came in to do some maintenance work down the aisle I was working in.
The contractor in question was an Indian dude around my age. He asked me where the bathroom was, which then flowed into simple conversation about how I liked my job, what I liked to do in my spare time, music I enjoyed listening to, what tv shows I was currently watching etc.
I didn’t think anything of it and was enjoying our casual chat. He then broke off mid conversation to apologise if he was creeping me out and explained how he works long hours and gets quite lonely. He also mentioned that a lot the girls he talks to immediately label him a creep and report him, when this simply isn’t the case at all.
I honestly felt really bad for him. It’s sad seeing how society has stereotyped Indian men. People need to remember not to tar everyone with the same brush.
Walking behind someone at night without being perceived as a threat.
Wear short clothes to the office when it's hot.
Shorts and/or short sleeve shirts at work.
I once had an older female coworker audibly gasp at the site of my hair legs, literally saying “ewww hair!” And pointing at my legs.
It was 9pm. I had just gotten back to the office after going to the gym so I could study for some certification I was getting.
Meanwhile she can wear skirts and a tank top and sandals.
Single sex spaces.
Men cannot have social clubs, sports, gyms or even rooms at a hostel. Women can easily have all of those.
Being confident and take charge. For guys, that's a real go getter. For women, she's a bitch.
Sleeping around. Men do it and they are studs, if women do it they are sluts.