Kathryn Schulz’s memoir Lost & Found is a profound exploration of the intertwined experiences of grief and love. At its heart, the book recounts two parallel journeys: Schulz’s mourning after the death of her beloved father and her simultaneous discovery of new love with the woman who would become her wife. These personal stories serve as a framework for a broader philosophical meditation on the universal experiences of loss and discovery123.
Schulz structures the book in three parts—“Lost,” “Found,” and “And”—each representing a stage in her emotional journey. In “Lost,” she delves into her grief over her father’s death, reflecting on the nature of loss and its deep roots in human experience. She examines the etymology of the word “lose,” connecting her personal sorrow to the universal reality that everything we love is impermanent. In “Found,” Schulz celebrates the joy and astonishment of finding love, emphasizing how discovery can make life richer and more meaningful. The final section, “And,” synthesizes these experiences, highlighting the simultaneity of joy and sorrow and the challenge—and necessity—of holding both at once12.
Schulz’s narrative is not just about her own experiences, but about how disappearance and discovery shape everyone. She draws connections between everyday losses—like misplaced objects—and life’s most devastating absences, showing how both force us to confront the limits of existence and the inevitability of change3.
Lost & Found is moving because of Schulz’s exquisite prose, emotional honesty, and philosophical depth. She writes with tenderness and wit, rendering her father and her partner with such loving detail that readers feel the weight of her grief and the radiance of her joy. The memoir is filled with passages that capture the complexity of being human: the ability to feel, to love, to lose, to suffer, and to continue living123.
The book is useful not as a practical guide to grief or love, but as a celebration of the language and ideas that make these experiences meaningful. Schulz draws on literature, poetry, and philosophy to explore not “how to” endure loss or find love, but “how to be” with these experiences. She acknowledges the privilege and particularity of her own story while extracting universal truths about human resilience and the paradox of carrying loss alongside gratitude23.
What makes Lost & Found especially resonant is its insistence on the coexistence of joy and sorrow. Schulz argues that life is lived in the “and”—the space where grief and love, loss and discovery, exist together. This perspective offers comfort and insight to anyone navigating the complexities of change, reminding us that while we cannot keep what we love forever, we can bear witness, care deeply, and remain open to wonder123.
“We are here to keep watch, not to keep.”3
In summary, Kathryn Schulz’s Lost & Found is both moving and useful because it beautifully articulates the universal challenges of loss and the redemptive power of love, offering readers a guide to living with gratitude and grief in equal measure.