Today’s book recommendation was a tough read for me, but ultimately, I’m grateful to have read it. For those of you who follow some of my other work, you’ll know that my mother passed away a couple years ago, and that she was a hoarder and I’ve been going through her things. Hoarding is not something discussed frequently in media unless it’s as a spectacle, which often leads to intense othering, while it is actually a reality for more people than you think.
Destroy This House: A Memoir by Amanda Uhle
Amanda Uhle’s parents, especially her mother, were also hoarders. While my mother didn’t get like this until she was in her forties, for Amanda Uhle, this was her entire life with her parents. Amanda’s parents not only hoarded, but they told a lot of lies. She describes frequent deceptive behavior, deeply damaging money habits, and questionable business acumen.
One of the things I appreciate about this book is that Uhle does her best to turn a journalist’s eye to the whole of it. She questions her parents’ behaviors more than she judges them and remains curious in her reflections. While I found that too much of it resonates, I could feel nothing but empathy for Amanda and her brother and sorrow for her parents. If you have a weak stomach, this is not the book for you. Amanda’s parents eventually get ill and pass away, and that is written about as well.
Amanda’s family moved multiple times and she writes about her parents letting the homes fall into disrepair. Her mother would overbuy food, which would make the refrigerator too full to close. Eggs would be stored on the counter or with other cold food, including meat, in the car during the Midwest winters. Sometimes food would be “stored” in piles out on the air conditioner unit during the winter, but of course, never moved into proper storage if the weather changed. Unsurprisingly, Amanda became a vegetarian very young.
For those wondering why Amanda didn’t just clean up for her parents, she talks about how she was shamed and yelled at for trying to organize the chaos. Reading a book from the viewpoint of the child who had no control over her parents behavior really helps readers feel connected to her. This book is a riveting read and the author does a phenomenal job at immersing readers in the environment, as shocking as it may be.
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That’s it for now, book-lovers!
Patricia
Find me on Book Riot, the All the Books podcast, Bluesky, and Instagram.
For more biographies and memoirs, check out our Biography/Memoir archives.